The Stoic Path to Happiness Using Negative Visualization to Live Fully

In this post, I’d like to bring you to a particular topic about a cure popularized by the stoic that can reshape how you see the pursuit of happiness.

You and I can agree that we all want to be happy. But, the way to achieve it can differ for both of us. In the past, I had always associated happiness with aiming for something more. New trending gadgets, new shoes, new jobs, new promotions, higher job titles, doing more vacations, etc. I told myself I would be happier if I could achieve all of it, only to realize later that my happiness from owning those didn’t last much longer than a day or two. Until I aimed for another target that would trick me again, I’d be happier if I could own it.

It made me wonder if there’s a flaw in pursuing happiness in wanting something more out of life. If I kept doing this, I realized it’d do me more harm than good. I felt like a hamster in the wheel, believing the illusion of aiming for something more would make me happier than now. Additionally, it’s counterproductive; the more I’d do it, the less satisfaction I get. I realized I needed to get out of this hedonic treadmill.

One of the ancient stoic philosophy lessons around the topic is to be content and happy with what you have. The stoic thinks that the source of our unhappiness lies in the gap between what we want and what we have.

Naval’s quote on desire can explain this at best:

According to the stoic, wanting what you already have is the remedy. In other words, you need to shift your desire to own something you do not have to something you already have.

The stoic also argues that living by embracing life as it is, even at its most basic features, is worth more than a millionaire who lives in a mansion but always wants for new Ferrari to put in the garage or a new younger wife to replace the old one.

Then, how do we reshape our desires to want something we already have?

The Stoics employ a powerful technique called Negative Visualization, which involves picturing the loss of something valuable in your life.

Let’s do the exercise:

Think about something valuable in your life. It can be your job, spouse, house, child, etc. Then, imagine all of it gone out of your life. Imagine that you receive a letter from your manager that today is the last day of your work, your spouse filed for a divorce, your house is burned, or your child has been involved in an accident. Think about it by adding more detail and letting it sink in for a few minutes.

Initially, you might feel gloomy, but paradoxically having flickering negative thoughts will contribute to your happiness. It accomplishes this by changing your perspective on your circumstances. It’s a good thought exercise to remind us that we shouldn’t take things for granted. We should be feeling lucky no matter the current circumstances we are facing. It brings back the joy of appreciating some little things in life; it can be spending more time with your spouse on a date, reading books with your daughter, or playing games with your children instead of making yourself busy watching football.

Remember, negative visualization is a thought exercise. You don’t have to do it all day in every challenging circumstance. Use it like a prescription drug. Apply it as needed with the right amount. It works like a remedy for our never-ending pursuit of happiness. Think of negative visualization like a brake while you are driving a car. We can’t push the gas pedal all day long only to find ourselves crashing with other vehicles. We must be smart to know when to take it slow, stop, and turn.

In his book Meditation, Marcus Aurelius once said:

“Begin the morning by saying to yourself, I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful, and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me, not only of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in the same intelligence and the same portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him.”

It’s important to note that the goal of negative visualization is not to induce constant anxiety or pessimism. Instead, it aims to promote a realistic and balanced view of life. By acknowledging the potential downsides, we can develop a more robust and positive mindset, appreciating the positives while mentally preparing for challenges.

The Stoic philosophers, particularly figures like Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius, emphasized the practice of negative visualization as a valuable tool for personal growth and philosophical resilience. While it might seem counterintuitive initially, many people find that incorporating this practice into their lives helps them cultivate greater emotional well-being and a more profound sense of gratitude.

P.S. This post was originally published on Fitgeist.