Unpacking the Arrival Fallacy: The Never-Ending Pursuit of Happiness
Anticipating new things can be more exciting than owning items.
Allow me to explain.
Dr. Sapolsky said:
“Dopamine is not about the pursuit of happiness but the happiness of a pursuit.”
We often believe that once we get that job, girl, car, phone, and house, we will be happy ever after.
But we know it is a lie.
There’s a psychological phenomenon about this called The Arrival Fallacy.
It is an illusion that we will be happy once we reach our destination.
We buy a new iPhone model only to realize it offers nothing better than the previous model.
We own a closet full of clothes only to realize we have nothing to wear.
We buy a new sports car only to realize it is a regular car that gets us from point A to B.
We buy a new house only to realize it looks like a small apartment in which we used to live.
The excitement of owning something fades away in a blink of an eye.
We realize owning something is not the thing that makes us happy.
The joy comes from anticipating things coming our way instead of owning them.
I remember how excited I was when waiting for my new iPhone.
I remember how excited I was when I got a new job with a higher salary.
I remember how excited I was when waiting for my vacation in the next few months.
Humans are wired to desire and chase something.
Our ancestors used to seek food only to realize the food was only sustained for a short time.
It is one of the ways our survival mechanism works.
The thrill of getting new things often overshadows the satisfaction of having them.
It leads to a continuous cycle of desire and acquisition.
These hedonic treadmills trapped us, making us repeat the same pattern again.
I keep on questioning myself every day? Will there be an end to this?
“Will I ever be satisfied with everything without wanting to keep chasing new things? When is enough is enough?”
It reminds me to seek balance and fulfillment in the intangible aspects of life, such as meaningful relationships, personal growth, and unforgettable experiences.
How’s your relationship with your desire? Is it under your control, or does it control you?
