What 10-Day of Vipassana Meditation Taught Me About Observing Thoughts Without Judgment (and Getting Enlightenment)

When I was traveling in Vietnam around the end of last year, some of my new friends I just met suggested I take a 10-day Vipassana Meditation just because it was such a unique experience for them. I was hesitant at first because I’d never done it before and not sure if I could survive for ten days doing absolutely nothing aside from meditating.

But, somehow, my deeper side already knew that I had to do this sooner than later. I did some quick research on it. Some people said it is a life-changing experience, others are calming, and some said they become more mindful of their lives. This knowledge unconsciously put an expectation in my mind that I should have experienced, at the very least, the same as anyone else who has done it before.

But, eventually, I tried to come with an open mind without any expectation that it would be an amazing or life-changing experience.

So I did it.

And it was an amazing and life-changing experience that I had never had before.

My meditation retreat took place at a temple in northern Thailand. It’s not an isolated place, but it offers a good environment to meditate with big and small meditation halls.

During the retreat, I meditated for 6–8 hours a day for ten days. Here’s what it taught me about observing your thoughts without judgment (and getting enlightenment):

What is Vipassana Meditation?

Simply put, it’s a form of meditation where you must observe your thoughts without judgment. It is to be the observer of the mind. To look at the mind as raw as it is without the intention to achieve or fix anything. It is to acknowledge what you feel and let it go.

Before we go further, I’d like to let you know the context of my experience on meditation:

• I’ve been meditating daily for about a year, but it’s still on/off sometimes.
• I’ve been using the Waking Up by Sam Harris app as a tool for guided meditation.
• I started meditation from 10 minutes a day to 20 minutes by going slowly.
• I used AirPods to leverage its noise cancellation feature, so it’s easier to listen to my breath and get to the present moment faster.
• But I’ve been away from meditation for 3–4 months since I was actively traveling and didn’t have so much time to do it. So, I deprioritized it.

Then, here is what the Vipassana Meditation schedule looks like:

• Every day, I need to wake up at 4 AM to meditate for about an hour.
• Breakfast is scheduled for 6 AM.
• Then, the meditation continues at 7–10.40 AM, along with the daily report to the monk.
• Lunch is scheduled for 11 AM, followed by a mindful rest until 1 PM.
• The meditation continues at 1–5 PM.
• Then, the rest of the day is for mindful resting and relaxing. Some people still do meditation in the evening sometimes.
• To fully experience a meditation retreat, I didn’t use my phone at all, so I could do nothing besides meditate for hours for ten days.
• Meditators are encouraged not to speak and just be silent.
• Meditators have to do intermittent fasting, where we can only eat around 6 and 11 in the morning. Fortunately, it is allowed to drink smoothies and anything liquid like tea or coffee. The temple I went to doesn’t have strict rules. I’ve heard some other temples have ones that don’t allow people to stare at other people’s eyes, let alone speak.

What kind of meditation that the temple taught me to:

There are two types of meditation: walking and sitting meditation.

Walking meditation: to walk slowly, to be aware of how I move my feet (lifting, moving, and placing), including the sensations in my mind and body. Walking is the best way to be mindful because it puts me in the present moment by focusing my mind on the way I move my feet. It forced me to concentrate. It is less likely that my mind would be drifted away from the present moment.

Sitting meditation: listening to your breath, abdomen when it rises and falls, body, sounds, sensations of your surroundings, weather, temperature, and thoughts without making any judgments.

All these are done without any devices. It’s just me and my thoughts.

What is the goal?

It is to build a stronger mind by acknowledging thoughts without judgment and eventually understanding the nature of your mind.

Additionally, we all want to achieve mindfulness, or some people might say a lower dose of enlightenment where you can feel calm, peaceful, and wholesome, one with yourself, and see the illusion your mind creates.

What Vipassana Meditation transformed me into:

• I managed to meditate 6–8 hours daily (cumulative numbers).
• I improved the round of meditation from 20 mins (with app and AirPods) to 2 hours (no app/AirPods) by walking and sitting each for 1 hour.
• Achieved mindfulness or felt enlightened by the feeling of calmness, peace, and oneness with myself.

Challenges

Meditation sometimes feels like a struggle to clear my mind from the noise. Random thoughts can come knocking on my door, asking to get noticed. My mind was distracted by conversations I had with my friends a few days ago. Or, I felt defeated with a train of thought full of anxiety that swarmed from behind. I became more pessimistic if I could be calm, let alone mindful.

The struggle got more severe after lunch because I felt tired and sleepy. It got harder to focus and listen to my breath. When I noticed, I was lost in thought for about 5 minutes. I had to repeatedly remind myself to listen to my breath, feel my abdomen moving, and feel the sensation of my body until I became calmer.

When I asked them about this to the monk, he told me that all the feelings I had were illusions of the mind. It wasn’t real. That’s what the mind wanted me to see. The best way to deal with this is by acknowledging it and understanding where it came from but without having judgment. And just let it go for the moment and become more aware and sensitive to the sensations and feelings I have.

Just before I noticed it, I became so calm and mindful.

What is mindfulness or the feeling of enlightenment like?

I wish I could describe it well, but bear with me. Like I said before, when doing meditation, we all struggle not to do anything, to let ourselves be in the present moment. Negative thoughts sometimes arrive, such as being anxious, faced with random thoughts, uncomfortable with our mind, creeping dark pasts, etc.

Some faces sometimes flash into our minds, and the next time we remember, we are lost in thought, drowning in the TV series we watched last night or our last conversation with our friends.

Meditation feels like going to our battle alone.

It felt like I was climbing a tree for a light (answer) at the top by fighting against dangerous animals: lions, tigers, snakes, monkeys, eagles, etc. But, by the time I was on the top, I had realized the light (answer) I’d been searching for was nowhere to be found.

It sounds cliche because the answer is already within me.

I find nothing. The top of the tree is just a space where everything feels peaceful, serene, tranquil, and calm. I then start to feel wholesome and oneness in myself. Feel the moment (breath, air, beating heart, abdomen, birds singing, traffic moving, people talking). Any pains I’ve felt in my body have disappeared as I couldn’t feel a thing.

I am syncing myself to the world. I realize I don’t need anything in this world but myself. I no longer feel any ambition, anxiety, hate, anger, shame, burden, regret, envy, and other illusions that the mind creates.

I am one with myself. There’s nothing in the world that I want to replace with this moment when I feel satisfied with everything I have in this world. I can see with a clear view the illusions my mind creates without forcing it to go away but to embrace it as part of me. To see it without putting any judgmental thoughts.

Biggest Takeaways

1. The tool to be mindful is all within our reach: the way we breathe (inhale/exhale), the way our abdomen moves when breathing, the way we walk (feeling of lifting, moving, and placing your legs), the sound of the birds singing around us, traffic, etc.
2. Walking is the gateway to being mindful if you listen to it. I find it easier to be in the moment and feel calm in my sitting meditation if I have done walking meditation previously.
3. The best way to be in the present moment is by observing and acknowledging your thoughts every time they drift away due to anxiety, drowsiness, sleepiness, random thoughts, etc. And be aware of any sensations on your body.
4. Additionally, you can get into a body scan where you need to feel the condition of some body parts (face, top of the head, neck, chest, abdomen, feet, hip, etc.) by touching them using your mind. It gets you back to the present moment faster.
5. Mindfulness or feeling of enlightenment is equal to achieving emptiness and nothingness in the realm of tranquility and calmness. It has nothing to offer so that you can be free from suffering.
6. I have become more sensitive to my thoughts. I can now notice whenever I feel anxious, overthinking, stressed, tired, etc., so I can turn my attention back to the present moment to prevent drowning in the illusion of the mind.
7. You can’t trust your thoughts entirely. Most of them are illusions, and few are real. Mindfulness shows you which one.
8. Whenever I am drowning with anxiety, stress, overthinking, self-hate, or random thoughts/faces, I treat it with humility by acknowledging it and letting it go for a moment because we don’t want to get further down the rabbit hole, not able to come back to the surface and make ourselves drowning into the abyss.
9. Cultivate the Begin Again mantra. The ability to begin again is necessary during meditation. Sometimes, our minds drift away. We are lost in thoughts for God knows how long. Begin again shows a willingness to return to the moment without judgment and disappointment with a mind that is truly free of the past. Begin again is also an ethical force. It’s a foundation of forgiveness. We should forgive our pasts. It builds the resiliency of our minds. If you are lost in thoughts, do not judge your mind. Forgive it, and begin again.
10. When meditating, ask yourself, “What is here now if there’s no problem to solve?” This originally comes from Loch Kelly. The question will put you straight away into experiencing the whole present moment without any distraction from the past and the future.

Tips for people who want to embark on Vipassana Meditation

1. Get into a minimum 10-day meditation. Why 10? Because it is the suitable range to get the best learning and meditation experience. In the first 3–5 days, our minds are still adapting to the reality of the world that we have back at home. Sometimes, we still feel anxious about everything happening in our lives. It takes time before you can start enjoying the experience.
2. Acknowledge your privilege of being able to do a 10-day meditation to be comfortable enough not to think about your busy life: work, family, friends, projects, finance, relationships, etc. Do not waste this time. There’s no guarantee that you can do it again in the future.
3. Do not think of anything outside of your meditation. Try to enjoy and be in the present moment of your whole experience: walking, sleeping, fasting, eating, meditating, your surroundings, the heat of sunlight, the cold of the weather, the wind blowing through your skin, the way you breathe, the state of your mind, what feelings you are currently having, the pain on your physical body, etc. Be more aware and sensitive towards the whole experience.
4. Meditate, meditate, and meditate. Build more brain muscles to put in more hours of meditation until your mind feels much calmer with fewer random thoughts and anxiety, making reaching the present moment and calmness easier.
5. Understand that sometimes, it is going to be a battle. Do not run away and abandon your meditation process. If you find it hard to focus and your mind drifts away, begin again.
6. Please read this post from Sasha Chapin about What I wish someone had told me about starting a meditation practice. I wish I could have read it before coming to the Vipassana Meditation.

As the last message from the monk, the real challenge will be when I return to real life. It is when all distractions invade my mind and ask for my attention. Things will get harder over time and will be different from the temple. Real life will get more complicated, but that’s when we will be tested. That’s where the challenge is.

So, I hope these lessons learned will benefit you.

Good luck with your meditation journey!